Thick and Sprucey Ornament

All about that bass? More like all about that spruce. This “Thick and Sprucey” ornament is peak ’90s humor—retro, cheeky, and just the right amount of extra for your holiday tree.

Laser-cut from acrylic and engraved with crisp detail, it’s lightweight, sturdy, and guaranteed to get a laugh. Perfect as a quirky stocking stuffer, an adult humor ornament, or the ultimate wink for your favorite Gen Xer who still knows all the lyrics.

At 3.75" tall, each piece is handmade and ready to hang. Consider it your tree’s throwback jam—funny, bold, and unapologetically sprucey.